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Rejection...

“No.” “No.” “No.” “No I don’t like you.” “No you’re just negative.” “No way I’ll ever love you.” “No you’re just a pessimist.” “No you will not get to be with your parents anytime soon.” “No! Just No!.”  “No you’re life is not yours to take” How much more rejections will I be able to handle?... ..... “I’m not sure why I’m infatuated with death, my imagination is surly an aggravation of threats”- Kendrick lamar If I just pull the plug now will anything change? Will I be missed? Will the blame land on me like always? “We are all just suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids that suicide ain’t the answer” - Kendrick Lamar  Life for me is tasteless, I feel like an outsider looking in. There is no joy left... at least for this period.  I don’t want to give up my friends, I don’t want to to give up because I’m not sure I’ll find others. I don’t want to give up on life because I might miss some new songs or movies that might give me some limited joy.  I want to be numb, I ...
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Good person

I’m only human. Broken, depressed, anxious, traumatized, but with all that I still remain human.  I’m not a believer in “Faith”, I don’t believe in superstition, at this stage in my life I define myself as an agnostic atheist; agnostic about how this whole life came about (maybe there is something that created or helped the universe become the way it is). And an atheist to all the religions known to humankind.  I’m a realist person, although often called a pessimist for blind discriminating or superstitious reasons.... When I communicate with anyone I always try to communicate with them on a human level looking past their belief-system and their thoughts. I wish everyone did the same though... I’m an overthinker. I often find myself contemplating everything and thinking deeply about it. This might be good in some areas like the one I’m interested in (physics), but it also has a bad side; like calculating and thinking about things that might or might not happen for a long perio...
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Found in her eyes

She is not like everyone else, she is.. perfect... In my eyes she is very gorgeous, very "dreamy"... breath taking. Magnificent light brown eyes, a smile like a ray of sunshine, sometimes I just can't help but get too excited when she walks into the same room. Unfortunately, we don't see each other too often, but when we do it's like I'm a different person around her, I feel free... If I would have a lifetime subscription of anything in this life it would most definitely and without question be her laughter, I adore it, I get lost in it. I often contemplate a lot of things, my head is filled with unfinished thoughts, I'm what you would call a daydreamer. I've been dreaming of what it would feel like running my fingers through her hair, getting lost gazing into her galaxy eyes.  Dreams don't usually come true, hence the name "dreams", and hence what people say: "it's just a dream don't worry, it won't happen". It'...
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