Good person
I’m only human.
Broken, depressed, anxious, traumatized, but with all that I still remain human.
I’m not a believer in “Faith”, I don’t believe in superstition, at this stage in my life I define myself as an agnostic atheist; agnostic about how this whole life came about (maybe there is something that created or helped the universe become the way it is). And an atheist to all the religions known to humankind.
I’m a realist person, although often called a pessimist for blind discriminating or superstitious reasons....
When I communicate with anyone I always try to communicate with them on a human level looking past their belief-system and their thoughts. I wish everyone did the same though...
I’m an overthinker. I often find myself contemplating everything and thinking deeply about it. This might be good in some areas like the one I’m interested in (physics), but it also has a bad side; like calculating and thinking about things that might or might not happen for a long period of time, then getting anxious and engaged in a “WHAT IF” jeopardy inside my own head. I’m always thinking and wondering about everything around me and inside my head, I question everything I do or think, exactly like I’m questioning if this blog could or will even be enough as my goodbye note if I lose my parents and/or deteriorate down the mental slippery slope again.
Will I ever be enough?
Will I get older and forget the trauma?
Will I ever feel love at a young age like all my “peers”?
Will “SHE” ever see me as a human being and connect with my based on it?
Will “SHE” see past the belief differences we have?
Will “SHE” be the one to help my pull myself out of this depression?
Will “SHE” ever slip under the same covers as me and just
“Love me lights out”* ?
—————————————-
SA
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